LANCS.TV Old Trafford Lodge Hotel
Junior Thunderbolts STORY
Lanky talks football

Our mascot on why cricket is better!

There was the small matter of a global football tournament taking place this summer. I was very pleased to hear that it was to be held in South Africa – I have several relatives there and they have been excited at the prospect at taking in a few games. The benefit of being a giraffe is that you can just peer over the stadium roof without buying a ticket or getting in anyone’s way!

I’ve never been too taken with football myself. People are always asking me who I support, City or United. I don’t have a team though – but I do admire the work of those teams in lower leagues who don’t have the money or the fame to win a Champions League or Premier League title. I like the teams whose greatest glories are to be found in gritty, Tuesday night victories over the league leaders, or a surprise trip to Wembley after a late-season run sees them to a play-off final. That’s the football I like.

I suppose I never got into football that much because I couldn’t really play it. I’ve documented before on these pages that it was only through sheer determination that I managed to get myself a trial at Lancashire (unsuccessful, but it did get me the mascot job which was more than I could have ever dreamed possible). I’m malcoordinated, have hooves that won’t fit in to these streamlined modern boots and I have the turning circle of, well, of a giraffe. I never had the chance to get any better because I always got stuck in goal due to my height, where I was good at punching the ball clear but when it came to catching with my hooves, the less said about that the better.

So with my football career over almost before it began, I turned my attention to cricket. That hasn’t ruled out having a go at other sports though, as I’m rather partial to a spot of archery and the odd trip in a kayak – though not at the same time. I’m a master of the Eskimo roll, but I need to be in pretty deep water to attempt it. I don’t know why, but I keep hitting my head when I go underwater.