As Thunderbolts everywhere go through exams, Lanky remembers some of the ones he's taken!
It’s July and we’re in the middle of exam time at schools and colleges everywhere. I’ve always been a bit scared of exams but I’ve done my fair share, especially recently!
I wasn’t very good at school. I liked PE, obviously, but back in those days I was very clumsy and couldn’t co-ordinate myself properly. I would get laughed at when I went to shoot in football and I ended up hoofing it over the bar. Maths was another problem. We didn’t have any calculators on the Savannah and where most youngsters learn to add up on their fingers, I struggled with my hooves. To be honest I never really got past 4!
Once I’d realised that school wasn’t for me I put all my efforts into becoming a mascot. I first sent my application form for the post of mascot to LCCC when I was still a young giraffe, but they told me that although I looked good, I didn’t have the relevant qualifications. It was at this point that I stumbled upon the Manchester School for Mascots, a college that offered degrees in Mascot Studies. I applied and was offered a place, which was really exciting!
My time at MSM was lots of fun but hard work as well. We had to do lots of exams in order to pass our degrees, but we got to specialise in certain disciplines which gave us the opportunity to hone our skills. I took papers on Mascot Dance, 4 & 6 Card Autography, Advanced High Fives and a practical final exam in Tail Protection.
Another part of the course was writing a dissertation which took many months to complete. Mine was a masterpiece – if I do say so myself – entitled “From the Robot to the Moonwalk: Yesterday’s Moves in Modern Dance”. It involved a lot of research and many hours in the dance studio as I produced a video to accompany my 12,000 words.
My first class honours degree obviously convinced Lancashire that I was up to standard and I started work at Old Trafford. The club have been brilliant in encouraging me to further my training and since I’ve been official mascot I’ve completed a course in Intermediate Tail Swinging and a basic introduction to typing with hooves. I also teach a course part-time at MSM, which is a great honour. Apparently I am the world’s second-most authority on the Robot – and Peter Crouch is too busy.
So, even if you are struggling with your exams, stick with them, and you will find out what it is you do best sooner rather than later. I may even find I have competition in the mascot world!